Are You Really Shy?

Just like people, dogs come in all varieties of temperments, quirks and desire to be around others of their species, and different species. There are people hermits who don't want much to do with the world, just like there are dog hermits. Social butterflies who love everyone, those who have only a few friends, and those that are abrasive in general. It's so important to know where your dog fits in all of it, and to understand they are not really wrong for possibly not liking other dogs, or possibly not liking people, but they do need to develop good manners around everyone to be a good citizen. Just because your kids hates another kid doesn't mean he should go beating him up! At the same time if your child is a fearful one and scared of the world, doesn't mean they don't have to be exposed to it.

But back to the topic of shyness. People, even fairly smart educated, dog people have the tendency of grouping behaviours into one meaning. If a dog doesn't want to be touched or hang out with people it is common they are labelled a 'shy dog', or if they like to hang out by themselves a lot, or if they don't say hi to every new person out there. To me, that's not really shy, that's 'I don't really care' which is a totally different behaviour set all together. To be honest, I kind of like dogs who have a 'who cares' attitude about people, because they are going to end up loyal to their people and not running off on you for a better person every jogger they meet. I personally find a complete social butterfly a little annoying (makes me wonder why I have Lemon ;) ).

True, most of these dogs can benefit from the same condition as a truly 'shy'  dog, to make them tolerate humans and touch better but a lot of them aren't really shy at all.

To me shy dogs -which are dogs leaning to fearful behaviours and scaredness- do the following:
1) Will go the other way when they meet somebody or something new. No curiosity whatsoever. I know a dog that bolts into the bush every time she meets a new person on the trail. Instant flight.
2) The shyer they are, the more of a fear response they might have. More than anything they want to get away, and get away fast.
3) Are always watching. I remember Allie would never take her eyes off me. I had to cover her crate so she would sleep. She was always watching and waiting for me to do something to harm her. A truly shy dog is always on guard and ready.

Working with Kahlua this past week and a bit, I've come to the conclusion that he is not a shy dog, but has developed avoidance behaviours from people thinking he is shy.

Examples that Kahlua isn't shy:
1) He meets new people and smells them from a distance. He will get within touching distance quickly even without treats. He may not let them pet him right away, but he is not fearful/going the other direction.
2) He is curious about his world.
3) He only truly practice shy/fearful behaviour when he ASKED something. IE: time for bed, or sit or go for a walk, or go down the stairs.
4) His 'shyness' goes away as soon as you overcome the behaviour he didn't want to do. If he goes down one stair, he suddenly perks right up and goes down them all with no further coaxing or reinforcement.

He goes: "NO, I don't haveta, I don't wanna, I'm not gonna-"
And you go: "Too bad, no choice."
And he goes: "Fine then."
A bit like a teenager!

To me, this means that in order to not follow a command or do what he's been asked to, he's gone into avoidance behaviour -I'll leave and you won't catch me, and I'll sulk in a corner if I do get caught-. I can understand where someone could be confused. He isn't a social butterfly dog -he's one that is content with his own company for the most part-, so he doesn't see the value in doing what he's told when he can avoid doing it at all. But he's not truly shy. The shy behaviours people have seen him have not consciously been created for him. His shyness is a learned behaviour not in his temperment at all. He's actually a bit of a confident, but very nicely dog social, boob. He knows how to play people.

Does he need further socialization with people, definitely, does he need more confidence building and training, most certainly, but mostly, he needs to learn that there are expectations from people and that to earn his keep (IE: his breakfast and supper), he best mind those expectations. He definitely doesn't need to be coddled and thinks he's shy! He needs someone who says "You'll be fine, let's go." It might take a little while to create new behaviour that overrides the learned shyness, but it'll happen.

He's going home on Sunday and I'll miss him for sure. In such a short time span I've seen so much change in him -even at last night's homecheck he made himself at home right away and soaked in the pets from a complete stranger. There's so much promise for this little guy and I'm glad I could be even just a tiny piece of his puzzle.

Emily Out