Oh, the Hearts I Must have Broken

Today is both a really exciting and eye-opening today. Firstly, I REALLY miss my Meghan. She was a little sparkle of joy here. However, a little picture update from her mum goes a long ways:

Kind of fuzzy from new home.

You can already tell she super-loved. Hopefully we meet up with her again soon for a doggy play date. Lemon is quite missing her too! (Momo is just not quite as fun. Actually scratch that, to Lemon Momo isn't fun at all.)

In a weird twist, one family that I had screened for Kahlua has inquired about a dog from an Albertan rescue and asked me if I could be their homechecker for that. Being the tunnel-visioned person I am, I went 'do adoption agencies adopt out of province?'. And then I remembered how far the TG guys travel (14 hours from there, about 14 hours from Calgary to here), that Jasmine and Zephyr went WAY up to northern bc to find their forever home, and one dog from a rescue I've fostered for (but not one of my fosters) went to Ontario to find her forever family. So, why not look into those rescue and see what they're about. It's got to be better than petfindering all the dogs I've petfindered the last year or so (8:00 seems to be my petfinder half an hour. Never actually looking for me, but just looking. It's kind of an addiction. Like window shopping.)

Anyway, so I trucked along this morning with half an hour between homework and work and all of a sudden I found her. I found who should be my next dog. She's a four month old Border Collie out of working stock parents. So, a Meghan -but with the drive!

So, I did what I didn't think I'd ever be doing again -directly applying for a dog without foster failing-. My application is in! Whether or not I am succesful in the adoption process or if they'll even consider adopting to someone a province away, I couldn't tell you, but what I do know is that I've never been so giddy since putting in my application for Beckett all those years ago. I'm refreshing my e-mail every five minutes, I'm going through the motions of "What if I'm not good enough". I'm picturing holding my new family member, buying her a nice her leash and collar set, getting her liscence tag, beginning agility training with her and then suddenly flashing to someone ripping her from my arms and putting her in another family's arms.

And quite suddenly I'm feeling like the meanest person in the world for all the people who haven't had the chance to adopt the dog they've applied for from me. All the heartbreaks I've been a part of. I know it's all in what's best for the dog, but tonight I have a newfound compassion for those who apply to adopt a dog. It's certainly an emotional roller coaster.

One that I'm now riding. I'm not sure what the ride has in store, but whichever way it goes I know it'll be the way it should be. Besides, whoever's application is a better fit than here best be a damn good fit! (Too high on my horse... probably!). I trust that whatever will be will be for a reason. But gosh darnit, I do hope it goes it my favour :)

A picture of the little girl I've put the application in for: