Specks of Light

So after my little pity party, and reading the great comments -THANKS GUYS-, and a few different blogs with information on dealing with fearfulness -it really seems to depend on the dog is what it comes down to-, I've picked myself up, dusted myself off, and gotten cozy with the fact that things go slow sometimes. So be it. When it comes right down to it, I'd much rather deal with an Allie over the long term than a bouncing, bubbly, totally high-energy freak.

Besides, Allie has some great points that are going to work in both our favours.
1) Allie has great dog skills. She understands how to interact (although not 'play') with her own kind. Dogs are much more balanced than we are. If she understands that much, she's already leaps and bounds ahead of where some are. She already knows how to be 'a dog'. She just doesn't understand how to be a pet. Who can blame her.

2) Although the barking/growling is frustrating -none of either today so far- she gives lots of warning of what makes her uncomfortable. She isn't unpredictable providing you understand her cues. Yes, there might be mornings it takes me ten minutes to get her to trust that I just want to grab her leash to take her for a walk (for now, she's still dragging her leash, she'll probably be dragging it for awhile), and I'm sure they'll be at least a few more fear growls as I open her crate, but I won't take that as failure. I'll take that as something we're still working on.

3) There are some things that seem to make her happy. Her small walks, her cozy blanket, her brief explores around the house and hanging around the other dogs do seem to make her happy. She isn't completely shut down. She's curious. She's watching.

Today I saw some specks of light at the end of the tunnel too. I've started doing some imblical work with her. 7 foot leash around the wrist. She can be all seven feet away, I don't care, but I'm asking her to stay within my world. I'm not asking her to come any closer than those 7 feet, but I want her to become comfortable within that radius. Although it took about 20-30 minutes for her to settle and not try to book her for somewhere else, I kicked off my shoes, hung out on the couch and just waited. About half an hour in she found a comfy spot on a big blanket on the floor and settled. By the end of the movie, she'd relaxed so much she'd pretty much fallen asleep. When I sat up, -the leash letting her able to go another foot or so- she stayed put and just looked at me.

That's where I am now.

Now, I'm sure once I get up she'll go back into the 'far away as possible' mode, but it'll be a quick trip outside for a pee break, a little walk, and then she can return to her open crate for the night. I'm sure they'll be many, many more bumps in the road, and I don't expect to ever fully earn her trust, but slowly, I hope she comes into my 'bubble', and maybe if she can do that, I can slowly enter hers.

This weekend, I hope to do a lot more sessions of imbilical work. But, without expectation of getting anywhere -but being thankful if we do.