Sometimes You Fail

So, back before I started fostering in March, I had this 'great' idea to set up adoption events through the daycare I work at. I knew there would be a lot of organizing/writing/public interation involved, but I didn't think for a minute of all the rescue politics, crazy foster drama and most surprising, the real occurence of rescues not wanting to showcase their dogs to the public.

The long and short comes down to not all rescues are built the same.

So far I've been super happy with my foster placements through all the rescues I've dealt with. I've always trusted Turtle Gardens to do great placement testing, and I've had the great fortune of having spent time with both Tucker and Honey's people before they left the nest. I did their home checks, we spent two-three hour+ visits together between their places and our places, and got to know the people, the environment and the commitment level. Yes, it took more time from my end, but I let my babies go knowing they were in capable hands. This is what TG does to ensure the least amount of returns, as well as satisfaction on everyone's part -the rescue, the foster, the adopters. This is no first come first serve line. This is -to every part of my understanding- for the dogs.

With May I lucked into her being adopted by a good friend's father, and with Yayis she was lucky enough to be adopted by the owners of a small dog daycare up-island who obviously knew how to approach a shy/slightly fearful girl. Even the young girl -maybe 10- had great body language. Although I didn't get to meet them for as long as my TG families, I was consulted with by Laura before making the adoption final. I had a say. I was allowed to say 'well, lets think about it, or lets go for a walk to try her out first, etc, etc.' The foster mum and not the rescue knows the dog better (which unfortunately doesn't seem to be the viewpoint of all rescues). The foster-parents knows what they need and what is a no-go. You don't settle for 'good-enough', you don't settle for the first applicant even if its been months since you've got an application. You don't accept anything but the best home for your foster dogs. As Lisa so aptly puts in her own blog: you need the right mental energy. After all, they've got a solid place in your pack. They don't have an expiry date with you. What's the hurry?

People have asked me how I can foster, and for these first few fosters I achknowledged that I knew where they were going, that they would be well cared for, have the money available for vet services, and were with committed people. I felt like I knew these people and that I was leaving my foster-pups in capable loving hands. With Honey we spent a lot of time talking about different ways to confidence build, with Tucker the need to keep him social (he lives with a Vet and goes with her everywhere! A real ambassadog!). To be fair I didn't worry as much about May since she's so totally fearless and outgoing and Yayis' people were already well-versed in what she needed and how to do it.

But recently one of my co-workers came across an unfortunate circumstance. Her foster dog was being viewed by multiple homes, but due to computer/e-mail issues, (and rescue issues) she didn't get the home that was best for her by any means.

The short summary of events:
The lady who adopted her -without any house visit I should add-, came, took her for a short walk, in which she totally coddled the poor dog (who REALLY didn't need any coddling), cut a cheque for her and took her home. In between, co-worker is trying to get on the phone with rescue, trying to say that another family -a family that had brought pictures of their home, that took the foster for a walk and didn't baby her one bit, a family who's young daughter began to bond with the dog, that took her for over an hour to get to know her- was the better fit and that she wasn't comfortable sending the dog home with this person. (Quite obviously) But the rescue decided they wanted the cheque for the dog, and thus the foster -through the decision of the rescue- went to a home that she was obviously unsuited for. The rescue failed the foster-parent, who had to watch her young girl go to an unsuitable home, but most importantly, the rescue failed their dog. When a rescue can not manage to send their dog to a good home, I believe a rescue has failed. I just hope that the foster dog, now an adopted dog, is not going to suffer.

Isn't it sad that that's what you hope for sending your baby off. That they're not going to suffer emotionally, physically or mentally. Shouldn't you be hoping they have a blast of a new life and get to explore all the things the big, wide world has to offer for them. Unfortunately, for this dog, that's not the case.

And I suppose this leads to my ultimate decision about Adoption Events and that I can not, emotionally or mentally, work with people who do not listen or respect their foster parents, that would take money and not even meet the person their sending the dog to. To me this is at the same level as backyard breeders. Yes they didn't bring new dogs into the world, but they didn't do what they're supposed to do either. What if the application was all roses. What if the person lied? What if, what if, what if? Do they even know this person exists? Is who they say they are? Would you send your child somewhere you didn't screen first? Do you hire based solely on a resume?

Maybe I'm getting a bit ranty, but as a foster-mum (and a proud one at that), I couldn't bare the thought of sending one of my pack out into the world without knowing where they're going. Without talking to someone on the phone, looking at their home environment, meeting them with the foster for at least an hour or two. So, I will be more careful with who I associate myself with to foster for, keeping mainly with Turtle Gardens as I both respect and trust them to send me dogs I can handle, and potential adopters that can handle them as well. And to anyone considering fostering: ask a lot of questions of your rescue. Ask them if you have any say in adoption, and definitely ask them about their adoption procedures. Fostering is truly an amazing experience, but you need to find someone who you trust to work with, or else you might just end up failing -and really, being failed.