I'm waiting for my parents to arrive, and I've been meaning to write this blog for a bit. It's a question that has no simple answer. When is it appropriate to rehome your dog?
(This does NOT pretain to my dogs.)
My friend, who has had dogs her whole life, who does a high level of training with her dogs, and who is a huge advocate for rescue -indeed fostering as well-, took on a dog a couple of years ago for a client that couldn't handle this dog. This dog is HIGHLY trainable, has SO MUCH potential, but she's truly not a happy dog. When she's in training mode she'll work her tail off, but even doing a solid half hour to an hour of training exercises a day, plus at minimum an hour or twoof strenous exercise, she isn't getting what she needs. She needs to be a 'working' dog, or a sports dog, or a dog that works out in the bush or a ratter, or something. She needs something to do minimum 3-4 hours a day, that works her brain not just her body. Directed activity. She isn't content being a family pet. (Super high-energy, high-drive, and being a terrier, a heck of a lot neurotic.)
She shares the house with two dogs, two kids, two cats, and of course, in a family home, there's kid's friends, and random other dogs, and let's just say, the homelife is chaotic -that's what having school-aged children kind of is-. Of course my friend has committed to her, she would never rehome her to someone that couldn't fufill her needs, and understand her drive, but what it really comes down to, is: Should she search for a better home for her dog?
In this rescue world, people turn up their noses at people who have had to give their dogs up. Or people who haven't thought it through, or worked through it. But this particular dog has been worked on for over two years now, and she wasn't given up when the bad behaviour got tough. So for this dog, for her happiness, what is best? For me, I'm torn. I've known this dog for a couple of years, and although my friends' other dogs are well-balanced, well-trained and deal with the environment, this dog does not. I can visually see she isn't happy most of the time. Her home is high-energy, but she is higher energy, and overstimulated in the chaotic environment with no true outlet. When you're already doing 2-3 hours of exercise in a day, plus playtime with dog siblings, I don't think its truly possible to go above and beyond that for her mum. But, at the same time, she's committed to her, she's family. I don't have an answer for her -and indeed, I think she needs to come to the decision on her own-, but was hoping for some other viewpoints.
For me, if I had never met the dog before, I would be doing the rescue 'she's your responsibility, you do what you need to in order for her needs to be met', but having known her, one of her true 'needs' might be to be an only dog, or only one of two.
What do you think?
Fostering dogs in Victoria, BC. Giving them lifeskills, cushy pillows, structure, confidence and copious snuggles. From chihuahuas to Rottis, to huskies and anything in between, amusing stories, mostly useless dog tips, and cute dog pictures abound.
3 comments:
Emiily, you pose an excellent question, and it is one which comes up for discussion on one of my dog forums fairly often. I wish there was an easy answer.
In the case of the dog you describe, I am trying to envision what kind of home would be able to make her happy, if a busy one in which she gets lots of exercise, training and canine playmates can't do it. A home with a very energetic at-home individual who has few other responsibilities and is devoted to working side by side with the dog for eight hours a day? Does that home even exist?
I struggle with the idea of re-homing dogs who are already in good homes, even if it isn't a 'perfect fit'. I currently have a dog whose personality isn't a great mesh with mine - he is a hyper guy who can drive me batty, though he is a great walking and hiking partner for me and good with other dogs and cats. A friend asked me yesterday if it would be such a travesty if I found a new home for him - after all if we are in a relationship with a human and it isn't working out, we leave.
Yes, I thought, it is true we can end human relationsips - adult ones. But dogs, like kids, are dependents. My daughter and I weren't a great fit either - our personalities are very different, and I was a single parent so the only one around to deal with her - but the option to 'rehome' her wasn't even considered. She was my responsibility, dependent on me, and so I adjusted my life and she adjusted hers as she matured, and somehow we survived. Would she have been happier with some other type of parent? Quite possibly. Would I have been happier childfree? Quite definitely. But sometimes one has to deal with the reality as it is, not as we would like it to be.
Some will say, to my child/parent analogy, "that's different, that's a child." The distinction between responsibilities to our kids and responsibilities to our canine companions has always been rather fuzzy to me, but differences of opinions are part of what makes life interesting.
Whatever the solution, I hope your friend finds a way to ensure the dog has some measure of happiness and contentment. It's not an easy decision, with that I will agree.
I agree with Jean-
Adopting a dog is a commitment we sign up for. We are dealing with furry children who depend on us.
If things are o.k. but less than perfect- well- there are much worse situations that we can compare.
In other words- he has what sounds like a good home. (verses being in a really terrible one)
Having said that-
When I was growing up and unhappy (with my rotten siblings etc.) If a better situation had offered itself to me- I would have moved to the better situation where I would be happier. (Ideally I would have shot my siblings)
"If" that perfect ,energetic person who has lots of time for her dog does exist and if the dog is better suited to and would be much happier with that person...
well, what's best for the dog ?
It is a dilemma.
wendy
If given the choice...I wonder what the dog would say. Since they can't speak for themselves we are quite often in the difficult position of deciding for them. Which home is the best match for a foster dog...and even harder to decide if your own home meets your dogs needs or not. If you could dream the perfect home for this dog would it even come along to make it a reality? Tough spot to be in. But one thing is for sure...nobody or no dog wants to be in a 'maybe' relationship. I would suggest making the decision to keep or rehome ASAP, rather than living in limbo.
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